A One Armed Matt

Hey Dear blog reader!

Writing this post really really slow... Not, I assume (on fairly good grounds [although I'm humble enough to acknowledge I could be wrong]) that you will notice that this post is written slowly, but anyways... Now, if you the inquisitive type you may wonder why this post is written so slowly (and you may even have an idea [due to your above average deductive reasoning skills] from the title). The correct answer should be that I currently only got one arm (ok, not entirely true, still have 2 arms but one 's fairly useless [unless you think hanging in a sling, hurting and being in the way is a useful occupation for an arm]), so restating (to avoid confusion [although I doubt your above average mind would get confused by such a trivial thing as this]): I'm currently only having one, in my opinion, useful hand!(!!!! [to really convey my message]). Hence I can only write with that arm.. Which for me, using the much adored and sought after (by those less gifted than you and me) touch method, this is very frustrating. It's a bit like talking but you can only use like a 3d of your teeth (somewhat lacking analogy... but hey, I'm suffering here)


Now that you know this you may (I wouldn't, but you may be the caring type [if you are I'm envious of you great heart]) wonder what made me one armed (or one-useful-in-my-opinion-armed if you want to be pedantic) and I'm quite happy to tell you that it's due to my sacrificial team spirit on the football (...soccer) field! I saw the ball rolling along by itself, saw this massively huge (in my mind) bloke from the other team run for the poor lonely ball, and just had to beat him to it, which, incidentally I did. Only problem was that of timing, I only beat him to the ball by .5 seconds or something... Which wasn't enough time to kick the ball and get out of the way... So we chrunshed together and I went tumbling to the ground with a not to happy shoulder (I did get to go in an ambulance and inhale on a green happy tube.. which was cool)

Figuring your getting bored now (with your above average wittiness and all) so wont bore you any more with how amazingly annoying it is to only be using one arm.. Just opening jars and bottles (not to speak about brushing your teeth and signing documents with your off hand..)

But, I guess I was due some misfortune as I've been fortunate lately. Got a Job!!! Starting on the 19th of Feb as an Technical Officer Track Reporting Trackside Interfaces within the Program Maintenance Services Division, Infrastructure Services Group for Queensland Rail here in Brisbane. Which is something I'm looking forward to, and have waited for for ages. What is pain anyway?

Anyways, should take my broken body and rampant spirit down to Immigration and get a label in my passport.

Until next time, keep your wits close and your mind open to sudden suffering....